Our world is changing faster than we ever could have thought possible these days. We're rolling down a slippery slope of progress at lightning speed while applauding each new aspect of technology, but at the same time perhaps losing ourselves a little more each day. A priority has been placed both on “acquiring things” and “being seen”, causing us to frantically collect items we believe grant a certain status, or to connect with events and images which make us temporary celebs on social channels.
We rate the level of happiness in how homes by the speed of the WiFi, and our new definition of “quality time” is ranked by how many devices can function simultaneously. Rather than “being together”, we must rush off to separate areas and watch our own shows and videos and games, because we are no longer expected to get along or required to give and take. Perhaps with these new behaviors however, there comes an unwillingness to compromise? No need to tolerate someone else's tv preferences for example, because we can just go watch one of the other devices found in an average household - adaptability isn't our strong point because it's no longer required. Years ago, early in our many years of marriage, there were squabbles, differing opinions, and we certainly didn't love everything equally. What one person found amusing or entertaining seemed to be like nails on a chalkboard to the other - and yet without a slew of alternate devices to turn to, we learned to adapt. (I often wondered sometimes if we would have made it through some challenging years if we’d HAD a bigger house and could go disappear elsewhere, but in a small place, the options are to go outside or both of you can learn to get along. We did the latter.)
Of course, not all of the "progress of today" centers around how many TV’s a household owns, because we have been busy finding more ways to distance ourselves from neighbors and our community. Finding online shopping so insanely helpful at shutting out the world, we can mingle with each even less! I think I’m a little sad to realize that we really did it - we actually went and substituted screens for people and places, using iPads and smartphones to replace our local shops and faces. Interacting with Amazon requires so little effort and with each click we can shrink more into ourselves and our four walls. A delivery on your doorstep, however, doesn't replace the atmosphere or fresh produce grown at the family farm down the street, or the sense of community and togetherness we may have enjoyed bumping into one another at the grocery store, library or corner deli. Those connections and conversations are being replaced by text confirmations and email receipts, and I can’t help but wonder if we will look back in a few decades and still view this “evolution away from others” as a good move?
Two other perspectives come to mind that I feel are worth touching on; first that of a small business lover and secondly, as an observer of teenage issues, cyber-bullying and kids in crisis. In regards to the first, it’s been tough to watch the closing of local stores as they became empty, quiet, and unnecessary, now that we're too busy to stop for weekly purchases. Is the process of losing these mom and pop businesses actually improving our community, and have we established a real benefit from ghost towns and shuttered stores? Despite loving technology - despite using it all day, every day - I can’t help but feel that sometimes we we may just be taking things a little too far. Perhaps setting boundaries could retain a sense of normalcy - taking kind of a tough love approach to our household dynamics is a possibility? Today’s kids can't be online all the time if there is no constant access to WiFi, and maybe if they can’t hide their emotions or potential warning signs behind dark screens we'd be able to spot problems earlier.
Perhaps we need to agree to keep an eye on the rise of technology, while at the same time not losing our minds over it, observing the mixed bag of benefits which comes with the newest forms of communication and inventions. Let's keep in mind that creating barriers between us isn’t all a good thing, and our daily connections and personal interactions - once the essence, center and pulse of our lives - may not be as outdated or unneeded as some might think. Maybe the answer to successfully navigating our new challenges and choices lies in the simplicity of setting requirements and rules for balance.
Article of interest: Social Media: Does it Connect or Disconnect People in Real Life?
Note: while this article was written with a bit of humor at first, there is indeed a new reality and threat here I feel we must keep a grip on. Seeing the increases in online usage - which may or may not be linked to some of the major issues facing teenagers these days such as cyber-bullying, depression and addiction - does gives me real concern over our rapidly shifting values.
Sincerely,
Andrea Baumann
Growth strategies for small business & nonprofits; community-centered
resource serving the Delmarva Peninsula (DE/MD/VA). Connect with us!
